Sunday, February 3, 2008

That which we persist in doing...

I'm still going. I'm still seeing what I need to do to launch my Market America business. This week, I created a new profile on Prosper and put up a loan request for the funding. I've already got endorsements from Alfie, Amy, and Amy. If you want to give me an endorsement, my username is 5thofNovember. Yes, that is a reference to Guy Fawkes Day, and yes, that is inspired by V for Vendetta. Quite appropriate for someone who's looking to create an uprising of the proletariat against the 1%, isn't it? :-)

After Pres. Hinckley died last Sunday, there's been plenty of disputes on Wikipedia whether we should make updates indicating Pres. Monson as the new President of the Church, and what surprised me were all the references we indicated saying that the senior apostle always becomes the new President of the Church that only garnered the response that, "it doesn't say that. They could choose anyone." Now, I know Wikipedia is something pretty silly to argue over, but what disturbed me about it is when I realized that it's the people who will try and deny the obvious on small matters that will also deny the truth on more major issues, such as whether Michael Moore is worth listening to, whether we should have universal health care.

Overall, this week has been an emotional rollercoaster. There have been moments where I realize how blessed I am that, even with the financial turmoil, I've been blessed that I can have food in my cupboard, and I'm probably eating healthier than I have been in a long time. Other times, I've just been so discouraged that I'm still trapped under a status quo that doesn't leave me free. The bishop suggested I keep looking for a job while building my business, and I told him I would do it, only to come home afterwards and realize that I have zero faith that will yield any fruit, because the job market is so bankrupt. And then my mom gets so upset that the church doesn't do more to help me find a job, while I'm realizing that they can't do any more. I was so happy when I texted Katya and told her that I missed her, and then she called me immediately, and then we talked tonight and didn't have much to talk about, and that made it feel like a dead conversation.

I don't know. I feel like I should be more grateful, or that would at least help me get my energy focused in a more positive direction, but it's the hardest thing right now.

Well, here's one thing. Yesterday, at Pres. Hinckley's funeral, I mistakenly left my copy of Rich Dad Poor Dad at the chapel, and when I prayed that I would be able to retrieve it, I went to the chapel during the rebroadcast and found it(not at the same place where I had been sitting, but in a clearly visible spot nonetheless). Later, when I went looking for my copy of Think and Grow Rich, I prayed again, and I still haven't found my hard copy of the book, but I did find an ebook copy, which as far as I'm concerned, is just as good. :-)

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